Everything's NOT perfect...but that's okay.

I go through phases of feeling like I'm on top of everything, grocery shopping is done (albeit later than I would like, but we have food to eat, as does Ellie), we aren't completely running out of clothes (although they sit in the laundry basket a little too long and come out slightly wrinkles), dinner is made at home 90% of the time, I get sleep and I still have some time to snuggle with my husband after the dishes are done and leftovers are put away. And then there are days like yesterday that I just fall apart and realize how much has NOT been done and I become a blubbering pile of mess.

Elizabeth was cranky when we got home from daycare with a stop off at the grocery store. I should have known it was because she was hungry, but I didn't realize it until I put her in her high chair. She started off by eating some cheese, which is a new thing for her, and she LOVED it. Moved on to toast with some yogurt on top, then to her veggies. After she was full we bathed and she got fussy again (not typical for the bath), got out and put the pj's on. Then she completely lost it. I set her on the floor in the living room and went to the kitchen to make her bottle and there were alligator tears streaming down her face by the time I got back to her.

She ate and was pretty much passed out and I went to get her burped and put to bed. Daddy had just gotten home so they were "talking" as I held her and as I went to go back to her room, she puked. Not just a little urp, I mean PUKED. All over me and all over herself. Luckily daddy was there to take her and change her, but I was covered and it was rank. Pulling clothes over your head soaked with baby puke and bits of vegetables smelling like partially digested milk and cheese is NOT fun.

We put Ellie to bed and I went back into the kitchen to start dinner and that's when I just fell apart. All her mess from dinner was in the sink, I had yet to even start cooking our dinner, every drawer I opened or closet I peered in seemed to need a good cleaning out, reorganizing, and purging. The toilets are gross, I haven't cleaned the kitchen floor in weeks, the carpet needed to be vacuumed, the dog's blankets stink and the 'play' room is continuing to look like a storage room instead of a room for toys and the office.

It just all hits me at once, and the putrid shower of puke set it off last night. I know that we function just fine, we are healthy (well, for the most part, other than Ellie's continual runny nose and little cough), we have a roof over out head, the fridge is full of food (and not rotting), we have vehicles to run and jobs to pay the bills.

We are a family and that is the most important thing, but it sure is hard being a working mommy with a *slight* case of OCD. I am learning, daily, to let things go, and everything's not 'perfect' like I would like it to be, but that's okay.