So, I would have been almost 16 weeks pregnant at this point in time. How can I stop thinking about this? Is it like a faucet? Can I just turn it off and not turn it back on? It hurts to think about, yet I can't push it out of my head. My nurse who monitors my blood levels every month told me that I needed to talk about it, talk, talk, talk. But who wants to talk about something like this? I feel silly for feeling so strongly about something I never even saw. He/she never had a heartbeat and we could never even find out where the egg was, yet it hurts SO bad.
Who do I talk to? I know there are thousands of women out there who have gone through the same thing, but it's not like I can put a bulletin out there to see which one of my friends wants to talk about such a painful experience.
Right now, this is my only outlet and I am the faucet, but this faucet can't just be shut off, and I don't think it ever will be. I am a leaky faucet.
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I understand!! I know we briefly FB about it and I hope you are doing a lot better. What really helped me was the Loss and Grief board on Whattoexpect.com. After a few weeks Tim's heart was healed, but mine and my body wasn't. It took sooooo long to heal physically and I was still saddened by the loss for some time. I think I finally healed once I heard Kaydriana's heart beat. I don't mourn any more as I was finally blessed with a healthy baby, but it's normal for that "leaky faucet" feeling. I'm the kind of person that needs to talk things out as I feel/experience things, but I started to get the feeling others were over it (so maybe I should be too?). Thats where the Grief and Loss board and my blog really helped. Anyway, sorry for the long comment, but please know if you still need someone to talk to I'm available!
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