I feel like I'm in such an odd place right now. I am currently a stay at home mom with two little ones. As Cole stretches out his feedings I don't feel quite as stuck at home, but preparing to go out with the two of them is a little daunting at times as you never know what you are going to get with a 2 year old! I would love to do things with other moms in my situation, say, MOPS, but I am going back to work in a short 4 weeks. I have a few friends I can make play dates with, and the few we have had were WONDERFUL not only for Elizabeth, but for me. I need adult time, and it's really hard to get it these days.
This maternity leave has give me a greater realization that I'm lonely. When I go to work every day I have adult interaction, we'll grab a drink after work every so often, but I don't call them up on the weekend to run to the mall or to plan a day to get our nails done just chatting and grabbing a coffee. I have been so busy for the past 2 months that I haven't thought about it too much, but now I need some friendship and it's really hard. It's not that I don't have friends, but my closest friends are a little farther away and have their life they are fully busy with. Now, if only my sister lived closer, we would be a force to recon with.
This weekend Mark and I ran over to a friend's garage sale we had donated to (she is raising money for the 3-day walk) and everyone there was trashed. As we drove away after staying for a short 10 minutes we realized that we were lonely as a couple as well. We could only think of one other couple that are in the same place in life as we are. We have tickets to the M's game for this weekend and trying to think of who to invite, our list was pretty short.
I don't write this to get pity as we need to do things to plug ourselves into things to find us new friends, but I write it to acknowledge that it's hard being a working mom and a 2 income family. The time we have when we get home is precious with our kids, and our weekends are spent doing things around the house we didn't get done during the week, but how do you balance that with feeding the need for relationships?
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All very good points Sarah! I can imagine that it is tough since after working all day you are both exhausted and want to spend time together as a family. I've been able to get plugged in with other stay at home moms but what is interesting is that they are my weekday friends and we don't spend much or any time with each other on evenings, weekends or when our husbands are around. While there is no real solution I have to offer, just take heart that in just a short year Cole will be in a much different place and it will be a lot easier to get out and do stuff, and you'll have more "time" to hang out with friends. We've also found that having over friends who are committed couples without kids has been awesome! It's actually a little bit easier since it is four adults to two kids and they can usually work around our schedule easier. Also, by having them at our place we can get the kids to sleep in their own environment and then have adult time to watch a movie, play a board game, etc.
ReplyDeleteLove your honesty!