One more week.

I return to work in one more week and my emotions are mixed.  I feel as though I had a much harder time enjoying my maternity leave this time around.  With a son who was stuck to my boob or crying for the first month and a half, and the other month and a half has been so unpredictable, along with a 2 year old who has gone through her motions of jealousy and typical 2-year old tantrums, it has been draining. 

I want to take off more time.  I want to be around for the 'magical' 3-month shift of my son where he starts 'figuring things out' a little more.  Ellie and I are starting to understand one another a little more, and she understands what I say is what I mean and I will follow through on my consequences for not obeying.  I want to join a MOPS group and go to the park with other moms, talk about the hardships of raising kids and laugh at the similarities in our lives.

Yet on the other hand I am CRAVING a schedule.  I want to have a set time to work out every day (during my lunch hour, and I can't WAIT to get back to my Strength and Conditioning Class!) so I can start feeling better (another blog post that I could go off on ... how this post baby body is going nowhere!).  I want to get up every morning and shower (not sure how my body - and hair - is going to react to being showered every day).  I want that feeling of accomplishment that comes with going to work and having an impact on the direction of the company and knowing that your knowledge and insight is shaping the future.  I need to BS with my coworkers and commiserate about everything from the weather to the 'guy that sits in the far corner who butts into everyone's business.'

It has taken almost 3 months to get to where we are today, much more comfortable as a family of three so I can only hope it won't take a full 3 months to get used to being a working mommy of 2 kids.  I am lucky to work for a company and a boss who is extremely family oriented, as well as going back to work with summer hours already in full swing (most people are out of the office by lunch time on Fridays).

I am going to do my best to savor this last week along with trying not to freak out about what is to come.  I know that both Monday and Tuesday of next week will be a lot of preparation, and this weekend doesn't allow much of a break (which I so desperately need and cannot seem to get a break) as Mark is gone all day on Saturday at a softball tournament, but I will keep my chin up and pray for an easy transition.