So, I would have been almost 16 weeks pregnant at this point in time. How can I stop thinking about this? Is it like a faucet? Can I just turn it off and not turn it back on? It hurts to think about, yet I can't push it out of my head. My nurse who monitors my blood levels every month told me that I needed to talk about it, talk, talk, talk. But who wants to talk about something like this? I feel silly for feeling so strongly about something I never even saw. He/she never had a heartbeat and we could never even find out where the egg was, yet it hurts SO bad.
Who do I talk to? I know there are thousands of women out there who have gone through the same thing, but it's not like I can put a bulletin out there to see which one of my friends wants to talk about such a painful experience.
Right now, this is my only outlet and I am the faucet, but this faucet can't just be shut off, and I don't think it ever will be. I am a leaky faucet.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
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