I return to work in one more week and my emotions are mixed. I feel as though I had a much harder time enjoying my maternity leave this time around. With a son who was stuck to my boob or crying for the first month and a half, and the other month and a half has been so unpredictable, along with a 2 year old who has gone through her motions of jealousy and typical 2-year old tantrums, it has been draining.
I want to take off more time. I want to be around for the 'magical' 3-month shift of my son where he starts 'figuring things out' a little more. Ellie and I are starting to understand one another a little more, and she understands what I say is what I mean and I will follow through on my consequences for not obeying. I want to join a MOPS group and go to the park with other moms, talk about the hardships of raising kids and laugh at the similarities in our lives.
Yet on the other hand I am CRAVING a schedule. I want to have a set time to work out every day (during my lunch hour, and I can't WAIT to get back to my Strength and Conditioning Class!) so I can start feeling better (another blog post that I could go off on ... how this post baby body is going nowhere!). I want to get up every morning and shower (not sure how my body - and hair - is going to react to being showered every day). I want that feeling of accomplishment that comes with going to work and having an impact on the direction of the company and knowing that your knowledge and insight is shaping the future. I need to BS with my coworkers and commiserate about everything from the weather to the 'guy that sits in the far corner who butts into everyone's business.'
It has taken almost 3 months to get to where we are today, much more comfortable as a family of three so I can only hope it won't take a full 3 months to get used to being a working mommy of 2 kids. I am lucky to work for a company and a boss who is extremely family oriented, as well as going back to work with summer hours already in full swing (most people are out of the office by lunch time on Fridays).
I am going to do my best to savor this last week along with trying not to freak out about what is to come. I know that both Monday and Tuesday of next week will be a lot of preparation, and this weekend doesn't allow much of a break (which I so desperately need and cannot seem to get a break) as Mark is gone all day on Saturday at a softball tournament, but I will keep my chin up and pray for an easy transition.
Monday, June 18, 2012
Friday, June 8, 2012
Every Child is different, but really?!?
I have less than 3 weeks before I go back to work and I just don't know what to do with my little man. I don't think I had Elizabeth on a strict schedule, but it was pretty set and she was quite laid back. Fast forward 2 years and her little brother is so not like that. He goes to bed around the same time every night (8/8:30) but I have no idea how long he will sleep (last night was 7 hours thank goodness), it could be 5 hours, or the other day he went 10.5. I can handle getting up once in the middle of the night, but it's the daytime that threw me into tears while on the phone with my mom yesterday.
He gets up in the morning and trying to get him to go 3 hours between feedings without going into a fit is quite the task. Sometimes he will be awake, perfectly happy for a while, I put him in his swing or bouncy seat, he'll be perfectly fine, sometimes even fall asleep, but that doesn't last. Around the 2 hour mark from when I fed him last he starts to get fussy. I try the pacifier, which he'll sorta take, but spit it out soon after, I'll try walking around bouncing him, which I can only do for so long, then I give in, make a bottle and start to feed him. He will look like he's eating, so I pull it out to burp, realize he's eaten but a few drops, at that time he either falls asleep, or looks up at me smiling and cooing. REALLY?
As I am fighting a nasty head cold right now, all I wanted yesterday was a nice hot shower. I had fed Cole, he was asleep in my arms, transferred him to his bouncy seat, still asleep, so I went into the back of the house to shower. I took my time and prayed he was still sleeping when I came back out. No luck. I had a SCREAMING baby, to the point that when I picked him up, the back of his head was sweaty from crying so hard and so long.
I obviously can't hold him all day long, and I eventually got him to nap in the boppy on the couch (don't tell boppy as it clearly states not to let them sleep on it, but it worked, so I wasn't moving him) late in the afternoon, but I am such a loss as to figuring him out. I know that the gals at daycare will take him for who he is and his personality and work with it, but I just hate feeling like I have to be in the car, stroller, or holding him to keep him at least sorta happy. Praying that I continue to just take one day at a time and that, one day in the near future, things will fall into place and Cole will learn how to be on his own, happy, for a decent amount of time.
Now to make breakfast for the big sister and work on ridding myself of this darned cold!
He gets up in the morning and trying to get him to go 3 hours between feedings without going into a fit is quite the task. Sometimes he will be awake, perfectly happy for a while, I put him in his swing or bouncy seat, he'll be perfectly fine, sometimes even fall asleep, but that doesn't last. Around the 2 hour mark from when I fed him last he starts to get fussy. I try the pacifier, which he'll sorta take, but spit it out soon after, I'll try walking around bouncing him, which I can only do for so long, then I give in, make a bottle and start to feed him. He will look like he's eating, so I pull it out to burp, realize he's eaten but a few drops, at that time he either falls asleep, or looks up at me smiling and cooing. REALLY?
As I am fighting a nasty head cold right now, all I wanted yesterday was a nice hot shower. I had fed Cole, he was asleep in my arms, transferred him to his bouncy seat, still asleep, so I went into the back of the house to shower. I took my time and prayed he was still sleeping when I came back out. No luck. I had a SCREAMING baby, to the point that when I picked him up, the back of his head was sweaty from crying so hard and so long.
I obviously can't hold him all day long, and I eventually got him to nap in the boppy on the couch (don't tell boppy as it clearly states not to let them sleep on it, but it worked, so I wasn't moving him) late in the afternoon, but I am such a loss as to figuring him out. I know that the gals at daycare will take him for who he is and his personality and work with it, but I just hate feeling like I have to be in the car, stroller, or holding him to keep him at least sorta happy. Praying that I continue to just take one day at a time and that, one day in the near future, things will fall into place and Cole will learn how to be on his own, happy, for a decent amount of time.
Now to make breakfast for the big sister and work on ridding myself of this darned cold!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
