Emergency Room and Anxiety

Today marks the fourth time I have been to the ER in under 2-1/2 years. The first visit was in CA when I was on a business trip, passed out in my hotel room, woke up, called 911 and spent the next 5 days in the hospital being monitored for my 2nd blood clot and had a host of tests run to see why I passed out (they never did find out). Second trip was to Stevens Hospital ER where I went after having an anxiety attack in my car on I-5 on my way to the doctor (had no idea what was going on). Third while I was pregnant (Evergreen Hospital ER), about 19 weeks along, and had pain in my calf that would not go away and was worried I had another clot (there was no clot and everything was clear).

Today was the 4th time. Mark and I went on our normal walk this morning and I just couldn't shake this pain in my calf (and for further explanation, I have had 2 blood clots in the same leg, same vein. First was post surgical after my ACL reconstructive surgery, and the 2nd after I switched birth control pills - even after tests said that I would be okay and had no genetic issues. Both of which has made me hyper-sensitive to lingering pain in my left calf, even though I am on lifetime blood thinners). I was trying not to think about it too much, but my INR was a little low on Wed due to a few missed doses of medication and I just couldn't get it out of my mind. Ellie had napped and had a bottle, so we were on our way to Target to pick up a few things. I had gotten ready and sat down at the computer when all of the sudden a huge rush went into my chest. It was tight and painful, and at the same time I felt a slight release in the pain in my calf. Mark was standing right there and I told him what was going on and asked if I wanted to go to the ER. I immediately said yes and got everything together for Ellie and we were off.

On the way to the hopsital my chest was tight, I felt like I had something blocking my throat. I could breathe, but at the same time I felt like I couldn't ... I was scared.

After the negative chest exray (to make sure I hadn't thrown a clot to my lungs to cause a Pulmonary Embolism - which I did not experience with either of my clots previously) and a clear blood test, I was sent home.

Work, home, being a mommy, a wife, the ideal employee, keeping a clean house with all sorts of projects stacking up in my head, exercising daily, trying to watch what I eat, pay all the bills, making sure I take my pills every day and on time, watching my cycles, can't get pregnant while i'm on my meds, can't hurt the baby I don't yet have ... It all got to me. I will be calling my doctor when she is back on Tuesday and will most likely be going back on my anti-anxiety medication.

All I know is that I have an amazing support system. Mark didn't sign up for this, but he's not going anywhere just because I drag him to the hospital every so often. My parents are amazing and ran at the drop of a hat to come and take care of Elizabeth. I am so lucky, and despite the fact that I am a mess, I have it all together when it comes to my family.