Change in Plans

So, I've had the title to this post created for almost a week now.  Anyways, things have changed quite a bit in the last two weeks.  I was about at my wits end nursing every 2 hours for almost an hour and still having a fussy baby.  One afternoon I was just over it (and working out my 2nd clogged duct, resulting in a caked breast this time - ouch!) and decided to give Cole a small bottle of formula and my whole world changed.  He was so much happier and content.

From that point on I struggled, I REALLY struggled with what to do.  Do I work on getting him to nurse long enough to get what he needs , but he's sleeping at night, so I'm doing something right, or do I start to supplement to help with my state of mind and hopefully free up some of my time to spend with Elizabeth?  Once I decided that it was okay to supplement (I know it's OK, I just had a really hard time coming to terms with it all as I had been so pleased that for 6 weeks I hardly gave Cole a bottle with breast milk and didn't even cross my mind to do formula).  I decided to start pumping 3 times a day, giving Cole a bottle of breast milk before finishing up with formula at most feedings (as long as there is milk in the fridge, that's what he will get first) and things are so much better.  My fussy baby is gone, even when he has gas he's not furiously crying like he was before, and his less fussy state has given me more time with Ellie and I can tell she has missed time with her mommy.  One of the first days I decided to do this process, Cole was sleeping and we were in the kitchen.  She bumped her knee which promptly needs a kiss from a mommy or a daddy, so she came over for a curing kiss.  I gave her knee a kiss and then a hug, and her arms SQUEEZED my neck and she just didn't want to let go.  I felt so bad that for 6 weeks I had essentially neglected her because I was nursing ALL DAY LONG.

Things are much better for all of us and Cole doesn't even mind the swing, which he hated previously as well as the vibrating chair.  He is currently smiling (yup, started smiling - love it!!) and playing on his play mat, batting at the toys over his head!  Can't believe that he's 7-1/2 weeks old and that I'm going back to work in a little over a month ... crazy to think it's gone by that fast!

Well, I finally got this post written, now it's off to vacuum up dog hair and make sure I have everything out of the freezer for dinner.