How has 6 months come and gone so quickly? I have Cole's 1/2year checkup next week and I am anxious to find out his 'official' stats. He is a big boy for sure, wearing 12 and 18mo size clothing right now and unofficially weighing in around 21lbs. He is such a smiley little guy and is ALL cheeks for sure! He is a total mamas boy and thinks his sister is pretty hilarious (which keeps both of them entertained!!). He babbles ALL the time and my favorite is when he lays in his crib in the morning and just talks, I can't help but smile! Sitting like such a big boy and rolling over (only from back to front right now) and making some strides towards scooting around the floor!
But sleep, oh precious sleep, how I have missed you. Cole's bedtime is around 6:45-7pm, and he used to sleep until 4:30, or sometimes until we would wake him up. In the past 3 weeks though, he's decided he wants to get up closer to 3am. Now, it's hard to be too mad when I walk in, turn on the night light, and a big huge grin with big big brown/blue eyes are staring up at me, but really, 3am?!? I will change him, feed him, and put him back to bed and pray he goes back to sleep quickly. Most mornings he does, but if this schedule is off a little, or in the case of a few days ago, he blew out his diaper, which also required a sheet change, it sure makes the morning that much more unbearable. I put him back to bed between 3:30 and 4, crawl back in bed, and my first alarm goes off at 4:35. 1 week of this was bad, the 2nd week I could hardly drive the kids to daycare and in to work without fighting sleep, but this 3rd week, I'm delirious.
Unfortunately there is not much time for a nap as here is my day:
4:35 - first alarm
4:45 - get up and shower
5:15-5:30 - wake up Ellie and get her to go potty and decide what to wear for the day
5:45-6 - get kids packed into the car and head to daycare
7 - walk into work
3:30-4:30 - leave work
4-5 - walk into the house
5-8:30/9 - put away my stuff, start laundry (especially if one or both of the kids had a clothes change at daycare), get dinner started, feed Cole (if Mark can't), pick up house, possibly vacuum, play with Ellie while dinner is not needing attention, clean as many dishes as possible while MAKING dinner, take Ellie to the bathroom (this can take a while), finish dinner, serve it to the family, hope I can sit at the table with the rest of the family, {if bath night} bath for Cole while Ellie and daddy are eating, change him into pjs, get his bottle ready and feed him, get Ellie into bath, if I haven't eaten dinner yet, I wait for Mark to finish with Ellie so I can eat dinner while he feeds Cole, put Cole to bed, read books to Ellie, brush teeth, wash hands, go to the bathroom, nighttime prayer for Ellie, come back out to kitchen to finish cleaning and putting away food, start to prepare food for next day's lunches, switch laundry as needed, sit down on the couch to play a few Words with Friends or Scramble with Friends before pulling up a DVRd show, then off to bed by 8:30 or 9.
*sigh*
I have also made a pretty big decision for myself in realizing that I am NOT and CANNOT be supermom, and I have hired a house cleaner. She will only be coming over once a month to do more of the deep clean as I keep our house picked up and surface clean pretty well, but the bathrooms, kitchen, and dusting just don't get done as they should around our house, and to me, it's more important to spend the time on the floor playing with blocks with my kids instead of in the kitchen with a rag and cleaner.
Life is a challenge, a constant juggle, and it's hard trying to be the best I can be as a wife, a mother, a worker, and find time to spend either alone time or time with friends (this is such a small sliver of my life right now, that probably needs to be remedied), but it's my life, and I can't help but smile when I think of what an amazing family I have. I am truly blessed.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
My Poor Baby ...
It has been such an emotional roller coaster the last few days. Cole was not himself last week and we knew he wasn't feeling 100% but Wed night Mark noticed a white spot in Cole's mouth where his molars would be. I just didn't feel comfortable with the situation so I ran him up the hill to the walk-in clinic. After almost 3 hours at the office we got the thumbs up that it was probably just a little virus and we were good to go on our trip the next morning.
After a long night of Cole waking up every few hours we got up to go to the airport early on Thursday morning. While we were in Utah Cole just seemed to not feel well. Between crying, not eating very well (wouldn't eat more than a few ounces at a time, when it was the norm to eat as much as 12oz in one sitting), and waking every hour at night I knew things weren't going well. The white spot in his mouth was getting worse and I found another spot that was in a different location. Mommy instinct told me to take him in to the Pediatric Walk in clinic that is associated with the ped office my sister takes her kiddos to. There he had a fever of 101.4 and after an examination the doctor decided to pull a CBC, Urinalysis and both a urine and blood culture. The poor guy had to have both arms poked to be able to get blood. We were sent home and told it was a virus, and I felt better as this doctor gave me a full explanation of what she saw and what she thought it meant.
We went up the next day to Park City to watch the ski jump aerials and I got the phone call from the ped office that Cole's blood culture came back positive and we needed to get him to the Children's Hospital ER as quickly as possible. Thank goodness we had 2 cars up at PC so we ushered the big kids into the van and my brother-in-law drove them back to the house for lunch and a movie marathon while my sister drove Mark and I to the hospital. As I sat in the back seat of the car next to Cole, all I could do was watch him sleep and start praying that he would be okay.
In the ER my little guy was poked and prodded to get an IV into his little chubby hands, they blew 2 veins on one hand and had to get the IV team into the room to finally get it in his other hand (they said he was just so 'healthy' they had to go a little deeper than normal). He was moved to another room to stay overnight for observation while the 2nd culture was brewing. Blood tests, multiple xrays, lots of doctors, nurses, and techs, beeping machines, antibiotics, and IV flushes filled the last day of our vacation.
We didn't sleep much that night between the poor guys little mouth sores that made it hard to eat, to sleeping for only an hour at a time because he was hungry. It was (and still continues to be) a vicious cycle that just broke my heart.
My sister was with me as much as she could, holding and snuggling my little man, and giving me a chance or two to step out of the hospital room to run to the cafeteria and just 'escape' the confines of the 4 walls.
As I sat in our room, which had a window that looked out to the entrance of the hospital, I had to hold back tears as I watched a little boy and, what I assumed to be, his father walk out to the fountains while dragging along a rolling pole covered in bags of solutions, medicine, electronic monitors, all attached to this little guy. His bright red shirt didn't lay flat as all the wires attached to his trunk were coming out from underneath and his dad helped him remove his shoes and roll up his pants to wade in the water for a few minutes before heading back into the hospital. As I turned back around to see my little guy sleeping in his crib I had to thank the Lord that we were here for something treatable and that I could take him home soon.
I am completely exhausted and have to fight back tears when I hold my little man tight as he's crying in pain/hunger/exhaustion but things are getting better every day.
The diagnosis ended up being a version of the Coxsackie virus (which causes hand foot mouth) and, according to my research, he should be on the mend now, but hopefully be back to his smiley little self in another few days. I have been lucky enough to be able to do some work from home which has been great as I don't have many sick days left at this time, and my boss has been completely supportive.
All in all, it was a crappy vacation. My little man should NOT have to go through what he went through both in fighting this nasty virus as well as being poked and prodded in the hospital, but I continue to be very thankful that he is just fine and that, unlike so many other children, he got to come home and will be back to his normal self soon.
After a long night of Cole waking up every few hours we got up to go to the airport early on Thursday morning. While we were in Utah Cole just seemed to not feel well. Between crying, not eating very well (wouldn't eat more than a few ounces at a time, when it was the norm to eat as much as 12oz in one sitting), and waking every hour at night I knew things weren't going well. The white spot in his mouth was getting worse and I found another spot that was in a different location. Mommy instinct told me to take him in to the Pediatric Walk in clinic that is associated with the ped office my sister takes her kiddos to. There he had a fever of 101.4 and after an examination the doctor decided to pull a CBC, Urinalysis and both a urine and blood culture. The poor guy had to have both arms poked to be able to get blood. We were sent home and told it was a virus, and I felt better as this doctor gave me a full explanation of what she saw and what she thought it meant.
We went up the next day to Park City to watch the ski jump aerials and I got the phone call from the ped office that Cole's blood culture came back positive and we needed to get him to the Children's Hospital ER as quickly as possible. Thank goodness we had 2 cars up at PC so we ushered the big kids into the van and my brother-in-law drove them back to the house for lunch and a movie marathon while my sister drove Mark and I to the hospital. As I sat in the back seat of the car next to Cole, all I could do was watch him sleep and start praying that he would be okay.
In the ER my little guy was poked and prodded to get an IV into his little chubby hands, they blew 2 veins on one hand and had to get the IV team into the room to finally get it in his other hand (they said he was just so 'healthy' they had to go a little deeper than normal). He was moved to another room to stay overnight for observation while the 2nd culture was brewing. Blood tests, multiple xrays, lots of doctors, nurses, and techs, beeping machines, antibiotics, and IV flushes filled the last day of our vacation.
We didn't sleep much that night between the poor guys little mouth sores that made it hard to eat, to sleeping for only an hour at a time because he was hungry. It was (and still continues to be) a vicious cycle that just broke my heart.
My sister was with me as much as she could, holding and snuggling my little man, and giving me a chance or two to step out of the hospital room to run to the cafeteria and just 'escape' the confines of the 4 walls.
As I sat in our room, which had a window that looked out to the entrance of the hospital, I had to hold back tears as I watched a little boy and, what I assumed to be, his father walk out to the fountains while dragging along a rolling pole covered in bags of solutions, medicine, electronic monitors, all attached to this little guy. His bright red shirt didn't lay flat as all the wires attached to his trunk were coming out from underneath and his dad helped him remove his shoes and roll up his pants to wade in the water for a few minutes before heading back into the hospital. As I turned back around to see my little guy sleeping in his crib I had to thank the Lord that we were here for something treatable and that I could take him home soon.
I am completely exhausted and have to fight back tears when I hold my little man tight as he's crying in pain/hunger/exhaustion but things are getting better every day.
The diagnosis ended up being a version of the Coxsackie virus (which causes hand foot mouth) and, according to my research, he should be on the mend now, but hopefully be back to his smiley little self in another few days. I have been lucky enough to be able to do some work from home which has been great as I don't have many sick days left at this time, and my boss has been completely supportive.
All in all, it was a crappy vacation. My little man should NOT have to go through what he went through both in fighting this nasty virus as well as being poked and prodded in the hospital, but I continue to be very thankful that he is just fine and that, unlike so many other children, he got to come home and will be back to his normal self soon.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Life is good. Finally.
I had a pretty rough road after Cole was born. Between dealing with his crazy eating patterns, Ellie's tantrums and need for my attention, and just not really enjoying being home, I am finally in a good place.
Right before I returned to work I started back up on my blood thinners that need monitoring (versus the shots that I was on during pregnancy and for the first few months after Cole was born) and was encouraged by my mom and sister to talk to my doctor at the same time about postpartum depression. I had some after I had Ellie, and a little anxiety when I went back to work, but it all evened out. This time around I guess I realized that I had hardly enjoyed my 3 month off, I didn't want to get out of bed in the mornings, I had a hard time being excited about anything, I couldn't focus, even on a simple TV show, and the list of 'to-dos' was only getting longer and longer.
After taking some simple questionnaires for both depression and anxiety, it was quite clear I needed to deal with some issues. My doctor prescribed me some medication and, I'm not joking, the first day I took them, I felt like a new woman. I felt like I could smile again, enjoy my family, get up out of bed in the morning and be productive on a much more regular basis.
I have been on the meds now for about 3 weeks and things are going well. A few side effects i'm going to have to watch to make sure they don't get any worse, but I can't tell you how nice it feels to be happy again and have a spring in my step, even when dealing with a defiant 2 year old and a crying baby!
In other news, I am now the proud parent of a partially potty trained 2-1/2 year old. We decided to make the hard cutover from diapers to big girl panties and, though we've had some accidents, she refused her 'just in case panties' (pull-ups) and stayed dry all night in her big girl undies! I am so proud of her and can't believe how big she is getting! Funny story about the process though. We went to Target to pick out some new panties (I had some at home, but had been warned I would go through many more than I expect). I showed Ellie all the Disney princess, Tangled, Minnie Mouse and Dora underwear, but what did she end up picking out? Cars, Nemo, Incredibles, and Monsters Inc underwear ... complete with the little boy opening in the front! She has yet to chose one of those pairs out of her dresser, but I figure it won't hurt since i'll be holding on to them for her brother!
Okay, back to work, but figured I should post at least a little bit about life with 2 and a full time job! Lots of things are on the horizon for our family and depending on how things turn out, I'll write a post about it all in the near future (no, no baby, other things!).
Right before I returned to work I started back up on my blood thinners that need monitoring (versus the shots that I was on during pregnancy and for the first few months after Cole was born) and was encouraged by my mom and sister to talk to my doctor at the same time about postpartum depression. I had some after I had Ellie, and a little anxiety when I went back to work, but it all evened out. This time around I guess I realized that I had hardly enjoyed my 3 month off, I didn't want to get out of bed in the mornings, I had a hard time being excited about anything, I couldn't focus, even on a simple TV show, and the list of 'to-dos' was only getting longer and longer.
After taking some simple questionnaires for both depression and anxiety, it was quite clear I needed to deal with some issues. My doctor prescribed me some medication and, I'm not joking, the first day I took them, I felt like a new woman. I felt like I could smile again, enjoy my family, get up out of bed in the morning and be productive on a much more regular basis.
I have been on the meds now for about 3 weeks and things are going well. A few side effects i'm going to have to watch to make sure they don't get any worse, but I can't tell you how nice it feels to be happy again and have a spring in my step, even when dealing with a defiant 2 year old and a crying baby!
In other news, I am now the proud parent of a partially potty trained 2-1/2 year old. We decided to make the hard cutover from diapers to big girl panties and, though we've had some accidents, she refused her 'just in case panties' (pull-ups) and stayed dry all night in her big girl undies! I am so proud of her and can't believe how big she is getting! Funny story about the process though. We went to Target to pick out some new panties (I had some at home, but had been warned I would go through many more than I expect). I showed Ellie all the Disney princess, Tangled, Minnie Mouse and Dora underwear, but what did she end up picking out? Cars, Nemo, Incredibles, and Monsters Inc underwear ... complete with the little boy opening in the front! She has yet to chose one of those pairs out of her dresser, but I figure it won't hurt since i'll be holding on to them for her brother!
Okay, back to work, but figured I should post at least a little bit about life with 2 and a full time job! Lots of things are on the horizon for our family and depending on how things turn out, I'll write a post about it all in the near future (no, no baby, other things!).
Monday, June 18, 2012
One more week.
I return to work in one more week and my emotions are mixed. I feel as though I had a much harder time enjoying my maternity leave this time around. With a son who was stuck to my boob or crying for the first month and a half, and the other month and a half has been so unpredictable, along with a 2 year old who has gone through her motions of jealousy and typical 2-year old tantrums, it has been draining.
I want to take off more time. I want to be around for the 'magical' 3-month shift of my son where he starts 'figuring things out' a little more. Ellie and I are starting to understand one another a little more, and she understands what I say is what I mean and I will follow through on my consequences for not obeying. I want to join a MOPS group and go to the park with other moms, talk about the hardships of raising kids and laugh at the similarities in our lives.
Yet on the other hand I am CRAVING a schedule. I want to have a set time to work out every day (during my lunch hour, and I can't WAIT to get back to my Strength and Conditioning Class!) so I can start feeling better (another blog post that I could go off on ... how this post baby body is going nowhere!). I want to get up every morning and shower (not sure how my body - and hair - is going to react to being showered every day). I want that feeling of accomplishment that comes with going to work and having an impact on the direction of the company and knowing that your knowledge and insight is shaping the future. I need to BS with my coworkers and commiserate about everything from the weather to the 'guy that sits in the far corner who butts into everyone's business.'
It has taken almost 3 months to get to where we are today, much more comfortable as a family of three so I can only hope it won't take a full 3 months to get used to being a working mommy of 2 kids. I am lucky to work for a company and a boss who is extremely family oriented, as well as going back to work with summer hours already in full swing (most people are out of the office by lunch time on Fridays).
I am going to do my best to savor this last week along with trying not to freak out about what is to come. I know that both Monday and Tuesday of next week will be a lot of preparation, and this weekend doesn't allow much of a break (which I so desperately need and cannot seem to get a break) as Mark is gone all day on Saturday at a softball tournament, but I will keep my chin up and pray for an easy transition.
I want to take off more time. I want to be around for the 'magical' 3-month shift of my son where he starts 'figuring things out' a little more. Ellie and I are starting to understand one another a little more, and she understands what I say is what I mean and I will follow through on my consequences for not obeying. I want to join a MOPS group and go to the park with other moms, talk about the hardships of raising kids and laugh at the similarities in our lives.
Yet on the other hand I am CRAVING a schedule. I want to have a set time to work out every day (during my lunch hour, and I can't WAIT to get back to my Strength and Conditioning Class!) so I can start feeling better (another blog post that I could go off on ... how this post baby body is going nowhere!). I want to get up every morning and shower (not sure how my body - and hair - is going to react to being showered every day). I want that feeling of accomplishment that comes with going to work and having an impact on the direction of the company and knowing that your knowledge and insight is shaping the future. I need to BS with my coworkers and commiserate about everything from the weather to the 'guy that sits in the far corner who butts into everyone's business.'
It has taken almost 3 months to get to where we are today, much more comfortable as a family of three so I can only hope it won't take a full 3 months to get used to being a working mommy of 2 kids. I am lucky to work for a company and a boss who is extremely family oriented, as well as going back to work with summer hours already in full swing (most people are out of the office by lunch time on Fridays).
I am going to do my best to savor this last week along with trying not to freak out about what is to come. I know that both Monday and Tuesday of next week will be a lot of preparation, and this weekend doesn't allow much of a break (which I so desperately need and cannot seem to get a break) as Mark is gone all day on Saturday at a softball tournament, but I will keep my chin up and pray for an easy transition.
Friday, June 8, 2012
Every Child is different, but really?!?
I have less than 3 weeks before I go back to work and I just don't know what to do with my little man. I don't think I had Elizabeth on a strict schedule, but it was pretty set and she was quite laid back. Fast forward 2 years and her little brother is so not like that. He goes to bed around the same time every night (8/8:30) but I have no idea how long he will sleep (last night was 7 hours thank goodness), it could be 5 hours, or the other day he went 10.5. I can handle getting up once in the middle of the night, but it's the daytime that threw me into tears while on the phone with my mom yesterday.
He gets up in the morning and trying to get him to go 3 hours between feedings without going into a fit is quite the task. Sometimes he will be awake, perfectly happy for a while, I put him in his swing or bouncy seat, he'll be perfectly fine, sometimes even fall asleep, but that doesn't last. Around the 2 hour mark from when I fed him last he starts to get fussy. I try the pacifier, which he'll sorta take, but spit it out soon after, I'll try walking around bouncing him, which I can only do for so long, then I give in, make a bottle and start to feed him. He will look like he's eating, so I pull it out to burp, realize he's eaten but a few drops, at that time he either falls asleep, or looks up at me smiling and cooing. REALLY?
As I am fighting a nasty head cold right now, all I wanted yesterday was a nice hot shower. I had fed Cole, he was asleep in my arms, transferred him to his bouncy seat, still asleep, so I went into the back of the house to shower. I took my time and prayed he was still sleeping when I came back out. No luck. I had a SCREAMING baby, to the point that when I picked him up, the back of his head was sweaty from crying so hard and so long.
I obviously can't hold him all day long, and I eventually got him to nap in the boppy on the couch (don't tell boppy as it clearly states not to let them sleep on it, but it worked, so I wasn't moving him) late in the afternoon, but I am such a loss as to figuring him out. I know that the gals at daycare will take him for who he is and his personality and work with it, but I just hate feeling like I have to be in the car, stroller, or holding him to keep him at least sorta happy. Praying that I continue to just take one day at a time and that, one day in the near future, things will fall into place and Cole will learn how to be on his own, happy, for a decent amount of time.
Now to make breakfast for the big sister and work on ridding myself of this darned cold!
He gets up in the morning and trying to get him to go 3 hours between feedings without going into a fit is quite the task. Sometimes he will be awake, perfectly happy for a while, I put him in his swing or bouncy seat, he'll be perfectly fine, sometimes even fall asleep, but that doesn't last. Around the 2 hour mark from when I fed him last he starts to get fussy. I try the pacifier, which he'll sorta take, but spit it out soon after, I'll try walking around bouncing him, which I can only do for so long, then I give in, make a bottle and start to feed him. He will look like he's eating, so I pull it out to burp, realize he's eaten but a few drops, at that time he either falls asleep, or looks up at me smiling and cooing. REALLY?
As I am fighting a nasty head cold right now, all I wanted yesterday was a nice hot shower. I had fed Cole, he was asleep in my arms, transferred him to his bouncy seat, still asleep, so I went into the back of the house to shower. I took my time and prayed he was still sleeping when I came back out. No luck. I had a SCREAMING baby, to the point that when I picked him up, the back of his head was sweaty from crying so hard and so long.
I obviously can't hold him all day long, and I eventually got him to nap in the boppy on the couch (don't tell boppy as it clearly states not to let them sleep on it, but it worked, so I wasn't moving him) late in the afternoon, but I am such a loss as to figuring him out. I know that the gals at daycare will take him for who he is and his personality and work with it, but I just hate feeling like I have to be in the car, stroller, or holding him to keep him at least sorta happy. Praying that I continue to just take one day at a time and that, one day in the near future, things will fall into place and Cole will learn how to be on his own, happy, for a decent amount of time.
Now to make breakfast for the big sister and work on ridding myself of this darned cold!
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
The Plight of the Working Mother?
I feel like I'm in such an odd place right now. I am currently a stay at home mom with two little ones. As Cole stretches out his feedings I don't feel quite as stuck at home, but preparing to go out with the two of them is a little daunting at times as you never know what you are going to get with a 2 year old! I would love to do things with other moms in my situation, say, MOPS, but I am going back to work in a short 4 weeks. I have a few friends I can make play dates with, and the few we have had were WONDERFUL not only for Elizabeth, but for me. I need adult time, and it's really hard to get it these days.
This maternity leave has give me a greater realization that I'm lonely. When I go to work every day I have adult interaction, we'll grab a drink after work every so often, but I don't call them up on the weekend to run to the mall or to plan a day to get our nails done just chatting and grabbing a coffee. I have been so busy for the past 2 months that I haven't thought about it too much, but now I need some friendship and it's really hard. It's not that I don't have friends, but my closest friends are a little farther away and have their life they are fully busy with. Now, if only my sister lived closer, we would be a force to recon with.
This weekend Mark and I ran over to a friend's garage sale we had donated to (she is raising money for the 3-day walk) and everyone there was trashed. As we drove away after staying for a short 10 minutes we realized that we were lonely as a couple as well. We could only think of one other couple that are in the same place in life as we are. We have tickets to the M's game for this weekend and trying to think of who to invite, our list was pretty short.
I don't write this to get pity as we need to do things to plug ourselves into things to find us new friends, but I write it to acknowledge that it's hard being a working mom and a 2 income family. The time we have when we get home is precious with our kids, and our weekends are spent doing things around the house we didn't get done during the week, but how do you balance that with feeding the need for relationships?
This maternity leave has give me a greater realization that I'm lonely. When I go to work every day I have adult interaction, we'll grab a drink after work every so often, but I don't call them up on the weekend to run to the mall or to plan a day to get our nails done just chatting and grabbing a coffee. I have been so busy for the past 2 months that I haven't thought about it too much, but now I need some friendship and it's really hard. It's not that I don't have friends, but my closest friends are a little farther away and have their life they are fully busy with. Now, if only my sister lived closer, we would be a force to recon with.
This weekend Mark and I ran over to a friend's garage sale we had donated to (she is raising money for the 3-day walk) and everyone there was trashed. As we drove away after staying for a short 10 minutes we realized that we were lonely as a couple as well. We could only think of one other couple that are in the same place in life as we are. We have tickets to the M's game for this weekend and trying to think of who to invite, our list was pretty short.
I don't write this to get pity as we need to do things to plug ourselves into things to find us new friends, but I write it to acknowledge that it's hard being a working mom and a 2 income family. The time we have when we get home is precious with our kids, and our weekends are spent doing things around the house we didn't get done during the week, but how do you balance that with feeding the need for relationships?
Thursday, May 17, 2012
Change in Plans
So, I've had the title to this post created for almost a week now. Anyways, things have changed quite a bit in the last two weeks. I was about at my wits end nursing every 2 hours for almost an hour and still having a fussy baby. One afternoon I was just over it (and working out my 2nd clogged duct, resulting in a caked breast this time - ouch!) and decided to give Cole a small bottle of formula and my whole world changed. He was so much happier and content.
From that point on I struggled, I REALLY struggled with what to do. Do I work on getting him to nurse long enough to get what he needs , but he's sleeping at night, so I'm doing something right, or do I start to supplement to help with my state of mind and hopefully free up some of my time to spend with Elizabeth? Once I decided that it was okay to supplement (I know it's OK, I just had a really hard time coming to terms with it all as I had been so pleased that for 6 weeks I hardly gave Cole a bottle with breast milk and didn't even cross my mind to do formula). I decided to start pumping 3 times a day, giving Cole a bottle of breast milk before finishing up with formula at most feedings (as long as there is milk in the fridge, that's what he will get first) and things are so much better. My fussy baby is gone, even when he has gas he's not furiously crying like he was before, and his less fussy state has given me more time with Ellie and I can tell she has missed time with her mommy. One of the first days I decided to do this process, Cole was sleeping and we were in the kitchen. She bumped her knee which promptly needs a kiss from a mommy or a daddy, so she came over for a curing kiss. I gave her knee a kiss and then a hug, and her arms SQUEEZED my neck and she just didn't want to let go. I felt so bad that for 6 weeks I had essentially neglected her because I was nursing ALL DAY LONG.
Things are much better for all of us and Cole doesn't even mind the swing, which he hated previously as well as the vibrating chair. He is currently smiling (yup, started smiling - love it!!) and playing on his play mat, batting at the toys over his head! Can't believe that he's 7-1/2 weeks old and that I'm going back to work in a little over a month ... crazy to think it's gone by that fast!
Well, I finally got this post written, now it's off to vacuum up dog hair and make sure I have everything out of the freezer for dinner.
From that point on I struggled, I REALLY struggled with what to do. Do I work on getting him to nurse long enough to get what he needs , but he's sleeping at night, so I'm doing something right, or do I start to supplement to help with my state of mind and hopefully free up some of my time to spend with Elizabeth? Once I decided that it was okay to supplement (I know it's OK, I just had a really hard time coming to terms with it all as I had been so pleased that for 6 weeks I hardly gave Cole a bottle with breast milk and didn't even cross my mind to do formula). I decided to start pumping 3 times a day, giving Cole a bottle of breast milk before finishing up with formula at most feedings (as long as there is milk in the fridge, that's what he will get first) and things are so much better. My fussy baby is gone, even when he has gas he's not furiously crying like he was before, and his less fussy state has given me more time with Ellie and I can tell she has missed time with her mommy. One of the first days I decided to do this process, Cole was sleeping and we were in the kitchen. She bumped her knee which promptly needs a kiss from a mommy or a daddy, so she came over for a curing kiss. I gave her knee a kiss and then a hug, and her arms SQUEEZED my neck and she just didn't want to let go. I felt so bad that for 6 weeks I had essentially neglected her because I was nursing ALL DAY LONG.
Things are much better for all of us and Cole doesn't even mind the swing, which he hated previously as well as the vibrating chair. He is currently smiling (yup, started smiling - love it!!) and playing on his play mat, batting at the toys over his head! Can't believe that he's 7-1/2 weeks old and that I'm going back to work in a little over a month ... crazy to think it's gone by that fast!
Well, I finally got this post written, now it's off to vacuum up dog hair and make sure I have everything out of the freezer for dinner.
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